“But I Can’t”

I’ve really been noticing a change in one of my students. She’s only 7 years old, but week after week, her confidence continues to deteriorate. She used to come running into the studio excited to see her friends, but this past week, she came in dragging her feet. 

Her demeanor in class wasn’t any better. 

For the past few months, I’ve been noticing a change in the words she used – especially to describe herself. 

There are more “I can’t”. 

There are more “I’m not good at it”.

There are more “I can never remember”. 

There are more “I don’t know’s”.

And this is a student who loves to dance, has been dancing for years, has countless performances under her belt at the young age of 7 and really has a LOT of skill and potential. 

It made me really sad to witness this because she is so vibrant with her friends and used to have that same energy with learning new routines as soon as she heard the music start to play. 

After several private one-on-one conversations with her, we started implementing rules. 

No more “I can’t”. Instead we’re using “I’m going to keep trying until great”.

No more “I’m not good at it”. Instead we’re saying “I’m going to get better”.

No more “I can never remember”. Instead we’re saying “I’m going to practice until I can’t forget”.

No more “I don’t know”. Instead we’re saying “I might be wrong but I think it’s this step”.

It’s these simple changes in her words thats going to change her beliefs about herself. 

And it’s these changes in her beliefs about herself that’s going to increase her confidence. 

And it’s this increase in confidence that going to change her life.